Excuses, excuses, excuses! I’m tired of all the fucking excuses! I hear, almost on a daily basis people telling me why they can’t do this, can’t go here or there, or can’t try something. A typical conversation goes like this:
John Doe: You Scuba Dive?
John Doe: Man I’ve always wanted to do that, is it fun? (This phrase inclines me to give a bit more information “I’ve always wanted to do that”)
Me: Yeah .
John Doe: Ever see any sharks?
Me: Yeah, but they really don’t bother you, they usually leave because you end up ruining the hunting for them.
John Doe: Man, that’s so awesome I’d love to do that! I’d love to see a real shark, and not on TV or in an aquarium.
Me: So why don’t you get certified?
John Doe: Isn’t it expensive?
Me: It’s not too bad, around $300, plus you have to get fins a snorkel and mask, but most shops will discount those and work with your financial situation, kinda a pay as you go or make payments and when they’re paid off then you start your classes. You should look into it.
(Here is where the excuses start)
John Doe: There probably isn’t anywhere around here to get trained huh?
Me: Alexandria and I got certified in Lake Charles, during the winter, the water was brutal.
John Doe: I don’t know, is it hard to learn? (the disqualifying questions begin)
Me: No, plus since you’re paying them to teach you, they really make sure that you know what you’re doing.
John Doe: Yeah well I guess if I wasn’t married I’d have the money. (I don’t know how many married divers there are where both spouses dive or only one dives but I’m sure there are a lot)
Me: See if she’d like to get certified and y’all can dive together?
John Doe: I don’t think she’d be interested. (Translation; I don’t really want to do it, so I won’t even talk to her about it)
Me: Well here let me give you the card of my dive instructor, give him a call if you’re interested, he’s a good guy and will work with you if you want to try it.
John Doe: Thanks I’ll look into it! (Translation; I’ll put the card in my wallet and never look at it again, or I’ll throw this away as soon as I’m where you can’t see me do it.)
This conversation was an example of people who may want to do something, but never will because they’ve given up the thought that they ever could before they even tried. I am not certain of how many times I’ve had conversations like this one, on subjects ranging from getting tattoos, to doing a blog to what used to be my online radio show, to going to a horror convention. The thing that I guess irritates me the most is when people come to me to find out information about doing something, then give me every excuse from the fact that they have children, are married, go to church and or their financial situation for not doing whatever it is they have asked me about how to get into doing. Don’t ask me “Man, when’s that horror convention and where is it? I wanna go!” and then give me a laundry list of reasons that you “Can’t” go.
I truly detest when people begin making excuses to not do something. One of my favorite excuses is; “My wife/husband won’t let me.”. I’ve never been able to wrap my head around that concept. When I hear someone say this to me, my response is almost always “Let? What do you mean, let? What does that mean your [insert significant other here] won’t let you?”. As a married man of nearly ten (10) years I can’t think of a single thing that I need my wife’s permission for, conversely I cannot think of anything that she needs my permission for either. I am a grown person, as is she, both of us are quite capable of making our own decisions, even if they are sometimes bad decisions. Though it goes without saying that there is a mutual respect which rules our individual decision making processes. Can I have sex with the nineteen year old nubile neighbor? Yes I can. Would the decision to do so adversely effect my marriage? Yes it will. So out of respect and love for my wife I choose to decide not to sleep with the 19 year old. (We don’t really have a 19 year old neighbor, so this is not a real decision I am forced to contend with.) My wife has the same understanding. If I want to go to a strip club with friends, do I need to ask my wife? Nope, though I do inform her so that she knows where I am, as a courtesy. Does she need to ask my permission to go see the Chippendales dancers with her girlfriends? Nope, though she will let me know where she’s going, and I appreciate that. So I have an extremely difficult time understanding when people tell me that their significant other won’t let them do something. It makes no sense to me. How old are you people? This is your wife/husband, not your mom/dad! Grow up!
What I infer from these conversations is that the people who are telling me that they’d love to do this or that but can’t or because their significant other won’t let them is that they’re either scared to try something new or they have no control over their lives because they’re really just overgrown 8 year olds. This type of behavior and thinking disgusts me.
Here is how I see it:
If there is something that you really want to do, you’ll go do it, what ever it may be. There is no reason that you will not accomplish something that you really want to do. If you have to save up money to buy it or to afford it, then you will, if you really want to do/see/experience it.
Stop being a whiny pussy/child, if you want something then go for it! Do what you want to do, see what you want to see. Don’t let someone, be it your wife, husband, brother, mom, dad or friend stop you from doing what you really want to do. If they truly love you then that person will be happy that you are doing something that you enjoy. Of course if it’s a self destructive or self damaging activity like using Crystal Meth or participating in the gang bang of a crack whore, you might want to think about it and avoid those activities.
What I say:
Quit your bitching to me about your weight, about not getting to go here or there, about not learning this or that skill unless you actually are going to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!